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Say, who's that handsome guy in the brown velvet shirt celebrating with Meanie in the entranceway? Oh yeah, that's ME! Sorry, had to get it out of my system. At least I didn't bore you with the "I think we have a winner" story. The FBI here is Guido and Tracey Smothers, managed by "the Big Don" Tommy Rich, an Atlanta native. We get the good matchup, Nova v. Guido, to start, although Stone didn't get really good until this year. Sloppy reversal sequence, and the crowd breaks out the "Where's my pizza?" chant early. Guido gets the first real offense going with a bodyslam, but Nova pops up and dropkicks the celebrating Guido into Smothers on the apron. Chokeslam into an inverted atomic drop by Nova, followed by a nice spinning heel kick that actually involved spinning, the heel of the foot, and a kick, which means he's got two up on X-Pac. Smothers attacks from behind, but Nova reverses and gets a nice bulldog/legdrop combo. Tag to Meanie, and Rich grabs the mic and asks for a rematch of the dance contest from the ECW Arena. Smothers get a turn, Meanie gets a turn, and the winner is...referee John Finnegan. Wow, that was pointless. Back to the match, and Smothers gets the advantage briefly, but Guido's in for the usual miscommunication spots, culminating with a Paizan Elbow by Meanie and Guido on Smothers. John Finnegan body slams both Guido and Smothers to fully cement this one as a Comedy Match. Nove back body drops Guido over the top and gets the first highspot of the night with a somersault plancha to the floor on Guido and Smothers. Rich attacks from behind, though, and the FBI beats the hell out of Nova for a bit and throw him back in the ring, where a Smothers mafia kick gets two. Legsweep/superkick combo gets another nearfall. FBI continues to control with decent doubleteam stuff, including a proper Paizan Elbow. Nova finally counters a Guido top-rope something-or-other with the Scream Machine (Electric Chair to you Kanyon fans) and gets the tag to Meanie, who is a House O' Far on both heels. Nova and Smothers brawl to the outside as Meanie misses a moonsault. Rich tosses the Italian flag in to Guido, who manages to nail Meanie after a couple of misses. But Nova's back in, a kick to the gut sets up the Novacaine, and Smothers is in too late to break up the pin. Nova and Meanie celebrate afterwards by leading the crowd in a YMCA chant and dance. As comedy matches go, this one wasn't so bad, I guess. Joey hypes the win as a big step for Nova and Meanie, then recaps the Mikey Whipwreck/Justin Credible feud, which leads us to.... Credible is accompanied by Jason and Chastity (looking pretty damn good, I must admit). Justin had recently debuted after a brief run in USWA as PG-187, and Heyman did a pretty great job of setting him up as a Supreme Asshole Heel by having him "break" Mikey's leg after a couple of clean pinfall losses. He also did a great job keeping Aldo off the stick- too bad that didn't last. Punches to start, and Credible pushes off an early Whippersnapper attempt but gets nailed with a nice spear. Whip to the corner sends Credible over the turnbuckle to the floor in a nice bump. Mikey follows him out, and guardrail hilarity ensues. Both men fight back up to the apron, but Credible blocks a russian leg sweep attempt and sends Whipwreck into the guardrail backfirst. Back in the ring- Credible sets up a chair in the middle of the ring and drives Mikey headfirst into it. Big "She's got herpes" chant for Chastity. Mikey's slumped in the corner and Credible drives the chair into his face. Modified powerbomb on the chair gets two. Credible controls with some WWF Warzone offense - you know, punch-taunt-kick-taunt-punch. Mikey reverses a whip and attempts a backslide, but Credible holds on, so Mikey mule kicks him instead. Another Whippersnapper attempt is countered nicely into an inverted DDT by Credible. Brawl to the floor, and a really contrived sequence ends with Whipwreck suplexing Credible off the guardrail through a table. Too sloppy. Back in the ring, and both men have chairs- Whipwreck ducks a Credible shot and nails Justin's chair with his own, driving both into Credible's face. Corner whip and a swinging neckbreaker gets two. Mikey sets up a chair in the corner and slingshots Credible face-first into it. Top rope rana by Mikey, and he finally nails the Whippersnapper, but Jason's in before the pin. Whipwreck fights off Jason and nails him with a Whippersnapper- Chastity in, and a top-rope version for her. But Credible comes from behind with a chairshot, and That's Incredible on the chair gets Credible his first win on an ECW PPV. Good enough match. Balls Mahoney and Axl Rotten interrupt Joey's recap of Mikey/Credible to demand that their tag title match be moved up in the card, calling out Candido and Storm RIGHT NOW. The champs oblige (with a great line by Candido: "No problem, we accept. I'm a fighting champion, and Lance...well, he's here too"), so... Okay, here's the story for you newbies out there; Candido is a member of the Triple Threat, along with Shane Douglas. Bam Bam Bigelow had just turned on Douglas, and Storm was being "recruited" as his replacement. Candido and Storm won the tag titles from RVD/Sabu, but the Triple Threat announced that their new member was...Bam Bam Bigelow, punking out Storm in the process. BUT Heyman demanded that the tag belts not be held up, leaving Storm and Candido as partners even though they hate each other, a formula soon appropriated by the WWF for Austin/Dude Love and Mankind/Rock. Now then, on to the match. Candido and Axl start out with a counter-reversal sequence to "prove" that Axl's not just a fat-ass brawler. It doesn't work. Candido tags out to Storm after a punch to the face from Axl. Rotten with an armwringer on Storm and a tag to Balls. Words cannot describe how over Balls Mahoney is at this point. Arm sequence evntually countered by Storm with a great dropkick, but Storm gets caught on a leapfrog attempt and clotheslined something fierce. Balls tags Axl, and they hit the Road Warriors old NWA finisher, the Gravity Drop Backbreaker. You know, WCW really should have tried to sign Axl and Balls and repackage them as the New Nasty Boys before resigning Brian Knobs. Storm manages a spinning kick and reluctantly tags Candido, but a jawing session between the two leads to Axl dominating Candido again after an attack from behind. More double-team stuff from Axl and Balls. Balls hits a relatively impressive dropkick, but Candido tosses him over the top. Candido gets caught on the pescado attempt and dumped on the guardrail, and hey, here's the mindless brawl we were all waiting for! Slingshot senton splash by Axl- no, really- takes out all three guys on the floor. Rotten and Storm make it back to the ring first, so by ECW standards, they're the legal men, I guess. Storm manages a leg lariat and collapses, so Candido drags him to the corner, tags himself in, and tosses Storm to the floor. Candido dominates Axl, but Storm's back in and pissed. Candido with an Iron Man suplex and a proper tag to Storm. Chops from Axl prompt a huge "Free Ric Flair" chant- hey, it is WCW country. Boring sequence with Axl and Storm is finally broken up by a tag to Candido. Candido gets a top rope rana on Axl but is clotheslined by Balls from the apron. Lousy sequence leads to a headbutt to the groin by Axl. Storm in to heelishly interfere, but a flapjack attempt gets turned into a double DDT by Axl. Tag to Balls, who dominates the champs, but some blonde chick from the WWF runs in and slaps Balls before he gets the Nutcracker Suite on Candido. Big ol' clusterfuck ensues, leading to the hot ending: Balls prepares for a chairshot on a fallen Candido, but Storm nails a spring board dropkick Van Daminator almost all the way across the ring and goes for the pin. Candido nails Storm with a chair to break it up and pins Balls himself for the win. Great storytelling, horrible match. The champs brawl their way to the back. Joey, in the ring, introduces a few "Georgia legends" to kill time: Mr. Wrestling II, Junkyard Dog, Bullet Bob Armstrong, and Dick Slater. This would be JYD's last public appearance before the car crash that ended his life a few months later. Joey now calls Shane Douglas out for an interview. Shane launches into a great shoot on his time in the WWF, selling the fact that he's working with a fractured palate and broken elbow, while superstars from other feds "stub their toe and take six months off". Now for the WWF part; "There was a time when I was supposed to stretch Shawn Michaels, but he had a little bump on his head, so instead the pussy walked to the ring and handed me the belt. It was at that moment that I knew the WWF Intercontinental title meant SHIT in this sport". He then moves on to WCW with a tirade against "Dick" Flair, drawing mixed reviews from the pro-Flair crowd, many of whom half-expected Flair to show up for an appearance here. Taz finally interrupts, takes credit for Douglas injuries, and demands that Douglas forfeit the ECW title, "just like that kid in the WWF handed that belt to you." Douglas doesn't cooperate, so Taz locks on the kata hajime, reopening Douglas' palate wound, and he's soon spitting up blood all over the place. Bigelow and Francine rush in, but the damage is done. Taz is escorted out of the arena and into a towncar by security. Great segment. Hey since Bigelow's already in the ring now, let's start the next match! "Natural Born Killaz" gives the opponent away, and we have... Yah, right, like I'm really recapping this mess. New JAck's plundah includes a crutch, hockey stick, and a Godzilla doll here, all of which get introduced to Bigelow's crotch in short order. Brawl goes all over the arena, and we all know what the payoff is, right? New Jack climbs to the arena walkway and is handed a guitar for the big El-Kabong spot. He dives, and Bigelow gets a hand up and drives the guitar into New Jack's face. Which would be fine, except THE GUITAR ISN'T A PROP THIS TIME, and New Jack is legitimately knocked out by the blow. Bigelow has to pick him up and carry him to the ring for the scheduled finish, as he gingerly hits Greetings From Asbury Park for the pin. I don't generally like garbage matches, and this one didn't change my mind. To set up the next match, we get a melodramatic slo-mo recap of the saga of Tommy Dreamer/The Sandman/the Dudleyz, set to Mad Season's "River of Deceit". And hey, here they come! Gertner's intro is interrupted (boo!) by the haunting strains of Metallica's complex and layered melodic masterpiece, "Enter Sandman" (otherwise known as "that shitty cock-rock you younguns can't get enough of these days"), and the faces'entrance eats up eight minutes of potential match time. Not that I'm complaining, mind you. Dreamer licks beer off Beulah's cleavage, and we're finally ready for the match. Rule #1: OZ doesn't recap garbage matches. Rule #2: OZ doesn't recap Sandman matches. Here are the highlights...a pretty cool chair-and-guardrail-assisted guillotine legdrop by Sandman onto both Dudleyz. That's about it. Sandman is "injured" early on and taken to the back, and it's two-on-one until Lil' Spike Dudley runs in to even the odds. Big Dick interferes, Beulah interferes, Spike takes the 3-D, but Sandman returns, in a neck brace, with cane shots galore, and stereo DDTs by Dreamer and Sandman get the win. Better than I expected, with some goofy-but-cool spots by Spike in the middle and an epic-enough win for the faces in the "blowoff". Backstage, Shane Douglas promises to put up a fight despite his myriad injuries. GREAT interview, and as I've said before, I'd rather hear Douglas talk for five minutes than wrestle for an hour. Video recap of Douglas' ECW history follows. EVERYBODY thought Al Snow was winning the belt here, as Douglas needed at least three months off for surgery on his elbow, and this segment damn sure reinforced the opinion that Snow was going over. Snow shoot interview follows the video, as Al looks back on the past sixteen years of his career with a resounding "eh". Time for the match. Nicely epic beginning, as Douglas removes his elbow brace and places the belt in the center of the ring, daring Snow to take it. Snow responds by immediately working on Douglas' injured arm. Snow goes to the top early, but Francine crotches him, then pulls him off the top by the hair. Ouch. Douglas attempts to follow up with a baseball slide, but Snow sidesteps and pummels Douglas on the outside. Snow then apparently mistakes Shane for Tommy Dreamer, as he crotches him TWICE, once on the guardrail and once on the ringpost. Back in the ring, and a brief reversal sequence ends as Douglas catches Snow and drops him stomach-first onto the top rope, then dropkicks him off the apron and into the guardrail. He follows up with a wobbly top-rope leap onto Snow in the first row, but Douglas lands right on his injured elbow, and Snow regains control with chops on the outside. Back in the ring and Douglas takes control, working on Snow's neck with a rear chinlock and rolling necksnap. Douglas sets up FOUR chairs in the center of the ring, but two get knocked over, and he eventually powerbombs Snow onto the other two. The psychology here leaves a bit to be desired, as Douglas has jumped from the ribs to the neck to the back in the span of about eight minutes. Snow counters a Northern Lights suplex into a swinging DDT. Snowplow attempt broken up by interference by Candido, who quickly gets sent to the outside, but Douglas attacks from behind and nails a belly-to-belly for two. Snow takes a Flair Flip on a corner whip and hits an Asai moonsault on Candido and Bigelow on the floor. Douglas follows him out for a brief brawl, which Snow gets the better of. Back in, and Snow hits a flying body press from the top, but Douglas rolls through and gets a two count. This match is about as 1988 as it gets, but hey, I LIKED wrestling in 1988 a lot better than in 1998, so I don't mean that as a bad thing. The entire ECW locker room suddenly makes its way ringside and surrounds the ring lumberjack-style as a show of respect. Snow hits the Snowplow in the center of the ring but only gets two, much to the crowd's shock. Francine runs in and gets delicately Snowplowed herself. Snow heads to the top rope with Head, then decides against using a weapon to win the match, tossing Head to referee John Finnegan and going for a sunset flip instead. Douglas keeps his balance, drops down, and folds Snow up Rey-rey-style for the pin. The crowd is in shock as everyone rushes the ring and hoists both men up to their shoulders as the PPV ends. Solid match marred by the ending, as Snow blew the sunset flip and the pin looked really sloppy as a result. This PPV takes a lot of crap from internet-types as one of the worst PPVs ever, which it really doesn't deserve. Yes, Bigelow-New Jack and Dudleys v. Sandman/Dreamer were both atrocious, but there was decent stuff throughout, and storyline-wise, things went pretty smoothly, with great moments in the Candido/Storm and Shane Douglas sagas. The blown ending of the main event marred what really was a damn good Shane Douglas match. Snow, should have gone over here, but it was soon obvious why he didn't, as Vince McMahon brough him back to the WWF a few weeks later. And hey, Francine almost kicked my ass. What more could you ask for? Not a great PPV, but not as bad as it's made out to be. |
